Aimless Deliberation

I know it has been a few months and, for that, I apologize.  The last time I posted was in August, which was about the same time that my role at work changed.  I also had some "personal revelations" about this time well; so, every time I considered writing, I was not in the right place.  Being in the right frame of mind is important when I write.  Now that things are getting back under control, I wanted to send a special thanks to the people that played the biggest role in my development professionally, my former employees. After so many years of managing people, I no longer have any direct reports.  This was a pretty big adjustment for me.  So, for those who may not know, the things that drive me are fixing things and helping people.  The management role allowed me to do that in ways I could never imagine.  The funny thing though is that when I started out my career, I never aspired to be a people manager.   I continue to receive great ...

I found this post that I wrote some time ago but never never posted.  My inspiration came from a conversation over a holiday meal with people very dear to my heart (I am sure that neither of them remember this conversation, but we shall see).  Hope you enjoy. Over the holiday, a good friend of mine asked me about my blog updates.  Two things came out of this short discussion (1) I found out that people do read my blogs (Yay me!) and (2) another friend believes that I should talk about some controversial things.  So, because it just came up in a live conversation and is considered controversial by some, I am going to try out a more controversial post. Competition - Is it good? Isn't this an interesting topic?  In many points throughout life, we are competing with something or someone whether we realize it or not.  "The act of trying to get or win something that someone is trying to win or get" is the definition that Merriam Webster (http://www.merriam-webste...

For those of you that read and enjoy my posts, I just wanted to let you know that I am not don yet.  I have ben working on a new site for my posts, as I would like to postmore regularly.  Th point of this post was to say don't give up on my yet.  I plan to start posting again in another weeks or so.

This week someone very close to me suffered the loss of her aunt.  Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend the service nor see my friend this week. These situations are always difficult and unique to every individual.  Now, I will never claim to understand how one feels during this time, I can only offer my ear and my heart when assistance is needed. Death is a guarantee and will be experienced by everyone.  That's why life (and living it) is so very critical.   The one thing I can say about this particular loss is that my friend (my sister) should relish in the thought that she got so much time with her aunt.  I am not sure a full week went by that she didn't talk to or see her aunt.  From the little time, that I spend with those close to me,I can tell you this is a precious gift.   While I know it doesn't feel this way now and it's a struggle, there should be no regrets Shay.  From my limited perspective, Sandy had a great life,...

A couple of weeks ago, I got into a pretty interesting conversation about last names and marriage.  Now, of course, this conversation was wholly from a woman’s perspective; but let’s be real, the woman is the only one faced with the changing of a name for marriage, right?  Back on topic, the question that started us down this path was, “would you hyphenate your name?”  In today’s world, this is a perfectly innocent and appropriate question given the many perspectives and ways people address. My thoughts:  This is a wholly personal decision and unique to every situation.  Names can mean so much or nothing at all to so many that it is up to the individual to place worth based on their own personal development/growth/sacrifice.  We can never be the decider of what holds value or importance to each individual.  It is the decision of the woman and her future husband to decide what's best for them.  And this is where I think the problem may lie wi...

I have wanted to sit down and write for a little while now but was unable to  get my head around what I wanted to write.  So tonight, I just decided to let my fingers do the work. A few weeks ago, someone asked me if I had ever considered writing a book.  My response, “Heck no!”, with complete astonishment in my voice of such a notion.  I later mentioned it to my hubby, who responded, “I can see that you have interesting thoughts and people want to hear what you have to say”; his response had no shock or awe.  I say, “I don’t think that I have enough interesting things to talk about for a whole book and I am not sure that I have that type ability”.  The responses, “You have been writing various things since I met you” and “You probably could string together the blogs you have written thus far.”  Well, fancy that!  For others to see that ability in me almost had me in tears. The funny thing is I was completely taken aback yet I have...

In one of my earlier posts entitled "Just me ...", I stated that 'the people making sure you are around are the people that you should be making sure you are around’.   I was asked to elaborate on this point.   Simply put, this statement means that I had to stop putting energy and time into relationships with people that did not reciprocate that effort.   A key indication that someone doesn’t want to be bothered with you is that they don’t bother with you.   They don’t call, send an email or check in with you.   They simply respond whenever you reach out to them.   If they don’t have anything else to do, they humor you.   Nevertheless, I had it in my head that I had to maintain the relationship because I felt obligated.   Obligated by my relation to the person or the length of time that I knew them or even that they had done something for me.   I finally had to ask myself, is this worth it?   Don't get ...

For those of you that don’t know, some of my posts here are specifically requested by someone else.   That being said, this post and the next were to have specific topics.   However, I have to deviate for a moment to talk about helping others.   Side Note for my brother-in-law - This post may be lengthy but let me have just a few more minutes of your time and read it anyway. J Now back to the post… In a couple of my earlier posts, I provided insight into who I am and my thoughts on my life.   For this post, I would like to talk about why that is important to me.   Hopefully, I can wrap it back around to the title of this post.   Regardless of our desire to “stay out of other people’s business”, we are in it every time we open ours mouths to discuss someone else.   In these conversations, I always try to be fair in my commentary and consider the person at hand (this piece requires me knowing that person).   I try to avoid negativity ...

As you can see, I am not going to be able to post my updates to my journal everyday.   1) You guys are going to get tired of me (because you just don't want to know me that well).   2) I don't know that I will have meaningful posts everyday (and I don't know that I am ready to share that much at this point) Nevertheless, today's question was this:  Today was tough because...   Today was tough because I can't understand why some people seem to be incapable of giving others time and space to cope, deal, just to themselves to asses their situations.   I know, I know, so let me explain.  My friend and co-worker lost her younger brother last night (totally unexpected).  She sent a note to us to let us know.  First thing this morning, people (really one person in particular) are standing in my office asking "Have you talked to her?", "Do you have the arrangements?", "Do you have her address?".  Then, the person runs off and tells ...

January 2 Question: Can people change? Considering that both Jamie and I have changed and that I spend 80% of my time at work developing people, my answer is yes, people can change.  I know that many people will not agree with my answer but oh well.   Things to note about my answer in order for it to happen, people have to: Believe change is needed Want to change Work at change Accept setbacks Understand feedback Things that should be considered when thinking about change are that it will not happen overnight and support is required.  Those two things seem to be the hardest thing about change in general. I am trying to make my posts a little shorter because I got feedback that some of them are too long.  I apologize in advance for the length but I wanted to share one of the poems that I wrote for Jamie a while ago. He... is the pitter-patter of feet on my heart ... the laughter ringing in my ears He is the joy glittering in my eyes He... i...

I purchased a 5-year journal a long while ago for a young person in my life was never able to gift it.  Nevertheless, the journal is a "Q&A" journal that asks a different question every day.  I am hoping this works out well and will let you know how it is going as often as I can First questions for the first day of the year:  What is your mission? At first, I thought this was a very difficult question.  After thinking through all the things that I have dealt with in my life, I realized it wasn't as difficult to answer as I was making it. My mission is simple.  My mission/ambition is to enjoy a fulfilled life with my husband (the strongest family I have).  So, there it is people, it seems easy enough, doesn't it?  Several situations/challenges come along with that ambition but having it at the forefront of my mind helps me to stay focused.  Diversions and missteps are not able to cause serious delays in my journey. I am thinking...