Not This Again (Reoccurring Themes in My Life)

Saturday was my mom’s birthday!  I spent the bulk of the weekend with mom, my sister, and my nephew.  As we all know hanging with family brings a series of events; some familiar and hopefully some new.   As I thought about the day, it made me think about this week’s topic, Reoccurring Life Themes.

So, what do I mean when I say ‘Reoccurring Life Themes’?  As far back as I can remember, there are a few things that are constantly associated, said, or happen to me; be it a thought or an event.  The ones I tend to remember are the ones that impacted me the most as I developed.

Running into things in my own house.  I am not talking about an ancillary shoe or bag.  I am talking about the same walls or bed that have been in this house for as long as we have lived here (11 years).  I just can’t seem to get around it.  I get when I am unfocused but I will admit that there are times when I consciously try to miss the wall in one spot and end up running into it somewhere else or run into the couch.  I really don’t know what to do here.  HELP!!!

Situations where someone (usually close to me) has to talk about how sensitive I am… This one is very true.  I am sensitive, paranoid, and nervous.  While these characteristics are inherent to me, I have just learned to manage my response mainly by deciding what’s most important to me.  If it is not at the top, I work to let it go, quickly. 

Pointing out to me (while with others) that I don’t have kids… No shit Sherlock!  I am pretty sure that’s something I should know.  However, I have learned that this is a way for some (mainly women) to put me in my place, make me feel less than or disregard anything that I have said.  This used to bother me greatly and people knew it, that’s why they used it.  Quite honestly, I did feel less than.  Over the years, I have changed my response.

“You would know that…” It’s amazing to me that people, in general, use knowledge in a derogatory manner.  When family members and/or friends do it, it seems very contradictory to the ‘perception’ of a family.  My response to it today, “Yes, I know things, several things.  Thanks for noticing!”

“You always talking to…” Yes, I like people; I genuinely like people (until they give me a reason not to).  It is ok for me to speak to people as I encounter them and simply ask them about their day.  It doesn’t make me an alien species.  Try smiling and speaking to someone you would normally ignore; do it for them not you.  This one is just something I accept and don’t plan on changing anytime soon.

The assumption that I am naive… I think this comes about because I am nice.  Like I said before, I like people.  The motivation in my life is being able to fix things and help people.  Unfortunately, this means that there are many people that want to take advantage.  To deal with this, I typically use the 'you can get me once method'.

 

The point of listing these things is to note that repetitive experiences are bound to happen; sometimes with the same people.  I have learned that much of it comes from our response or reaction to it.  For the things that matter, I learned to change or confront and ignored the rest.  What I have found is that the reoccurrence decreased or went away.  Many times those that haven’t gone away are the ones that I have learned to let roll off my shoulders.