Aimless Deliberation

I just really enjoy being on the water; I always have.  It’s a peaceful place that encourages clear thinking, which I need so very often.  So, as I sit hear contemplating, these are some questions that I have that I am hoping you can help me with. Thought:   As girls grow up, they are often confronted with several situations/comments that insinuate that what they are is not good or pretty enough .  Examples You would be really pretty if … You don’t have that type of … It would look better if you’d wear this … All girls should… Boys really like it when … Yet, as girls become young ladies then women, we don’t understand why there are extreme levels self-esteem issues.  We don’t know why people can’t be confident in who they are.  Does this make sense to you?  If so, please explain Thought:   As a black person, I often hear things like ‘you should be proud to be black’ or ‘we are not like everyone else’; yet, we don’t con...

A long while ago, I recommended that everyone should take stock (inventory) of the things that they have and the things that are important.  Well, I should have also mentioned the things that you are thankful for and I don’t just mean the big things.  I mean those things that we take for granted or that may frustrate you on some days. Case in point...  I am thankful that no matter what time I have to be at the airport, my husband always wants to get me there and always has a surprise or dinner for me when I get home. I am thankful that my mom ensures that she sends me a good morning text or a did you make it text. I am thankful that my best friend always tries to make sense of my tendency to over-complicate some things (because she knows how particular I am about some things. I am thankful that my sister-in-law makes it a point to try and connect with me routinely. I am thankful that people actually read my posts, even with the lack of writing for a while. I ...

Sometimes...      we just go too far Sometimes...      we don't listen Sometimes...      we only see our side Sometimes...      we should stop Sometimes...      we should consider Sometimes...      we should look back/retrace Sometimes...      we are wrong Sometimes...      we should simply apologize. Quote of the day "Apologizing does not always mean that you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego."    -Unknown

A long while ago, I had a manager that felt strongly about developing people through personality-driven exercises.  One of these exercises focused on discovering your calling using ‘Calling Cards’.  Through this exercise, it was determined that I am highly realistic and social; my motivation (or natural calling) being 'bringing out potential by fixing things and helping people'. Mentoring (or mentorship) is something that I feel strongly about.  A relationship of this manner has the power to strengthen, shape and build confidence in individuals (on both sides) that can be seen throughout many aspects of life.  Most people see mentoring as something that is official and pertains mostly to education and profession.  However, I see mentorship as any situation where someone seeks to improve an aspect of their life from someone that they trust and feel can provide helpful guidance.  Before you ask, no I am not an official (or documented) mentor.  I am...

Betrayed and warning:  these were the prompts for yesterday and today.  I couldn’t help myself, I had to say something.  I am sure these topics are prominent in many situations; both are topics that I can reconcile easily in my mind. Betrayal can hit you from all directions and even in those you would have never anticipated.  I have experienced it from family, friends, colleagues, and lovers.  It knows no bounds.  While I don’t wish the disloyalty, I have experienced on anyone, I can say it teaches you a lot about life and human nature.  I learned that women can be so jealous and lack so much confidence that they will deceive you only to feel like they are better.  Regardless of relation or perceived loyalty, people are people and sometimes what they want for themselves outweighs any loyalty or moral high-ground. Warning:  I wish someone would have warned me about the betrayal that I experienced.  You see, I was warned about c...

Micro… interesting prompt.  Micro, extremely small or very small in relation to others.  The only thing that comes to mind is words.  I think about the small (or micro) amount of words that I use in life compared to the number of words I know and that exist in life.  Words drive everyday interactions at work at home, everywhere.  With the exorbitant number of active words, you would think that expressing ideas, thoughts, and feelings might not be that difficult.  Turns out, it is. At an early age, you start to learn several words every week; building your vocabulary.  As you progress in education, your word use is analyzed tested.  Yet, as we get older, we form a small subset of words that we use to communicate with each other in conversation or writing.  We even go so far as to shorten the few words we use commonly.  Maybe this happens when you aren’t in school anymore or when you stop reading?  Though I have noticed whe...

This post has been started several times over the past year; mainly from trying to determine the right approach. About a year ago, some of our family members referred to us as the ‘New Negro’.   The situation: we talked about having gouda mac and cheese and brisket for Thanksgiving.  We also discussed wanting to go hiking.   While we took no offense, we did find it to be a very interesting and telling description of how we are perceived by others (for simply doing something that interested us).  You must understand it before you can react.   In our community, there is a long history of conformance to family expectation, religious thoughts, community influence, and societal acceptance.   The ‘New Negro’ can mean different things to different people based on mentality and need for acceptance.   For us, it was a welcomed comment; we understood the sentiment and appreciated the regard. Consider this, the ‘New Negro’ is synonymous with the Harlem...