Feedback: Supportive or Spiteful?

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Wow!  In my attempt to let go of some entirely separate things this week, I stumbled upon a conversation about feedback (or honesty).  It’s an interesting situation to request feedback on one thing and receive an onslaught of unsolicited feedback about something totally separate.

It’s interesting to be provided feedback of not being self-aware and unable to receive feedback, when no evidence is presented to support the accusation.  The most disappointing part of the ‘feedback’ is that it came from someone to whom I’ve shared insecurities, negative feedback, and unsolicited commentary.  To receive unsupported feedback like that from someone you trust feels spiteful and intent on purposely hurting me.  So, for me, it feels like commentary meant to either put me in my place or destroy my confidence.  Let me take a step the feedback came with a promise to point it out when it happens in the future.  I realize that I am not all-knowing, but I thought the purpose of feedback was to identify a concern about a behavior or completion of specific tasks with the goal of future improvement.    

How do you come back from that?

I serve as an ear to many people both professionally and personally and I love it.  I enjoy being the person that people feel comfortable enough to just let go of things that they are carrying on their heart.  Being an ear and a confidant, I understand that honesty is hard to swallow especially if given in the wrong way.  Knowing this, I try to be mindful of who I am and how I respond to anyone requesting feedback.  I like literally had three such conversations this week.  In each one, the feedback was requested, I considered the person receiving the feedback, stated that the feedback was my perspective then gave the best possible response in a respectful manner.  Point is, I try to be mindful of my commentary with EVERYONE with whom I converse. 

I needed to write tonight so I could release and while I feel like I have let go of some older things.  There are new things to address.  NO need for cursing or even holding on to this one; it’s feedback to do with whatever I choose.  I just hope that as we provide such feedback, we not only formulate supporting examples, but we self-reflect on the feedback as well.  Thanks, back into my headspace I go!

Quote of the Day
“Everyone is a genius.  But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree.  It will live its whole life believing it is stupid.”
-Albert Einstein

Comments

  1. UnknownFebruary 16, 2019 at 4:21 AM

    Everybody wants to give feedback but not everybody should....

    ReplyDelete

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